Three DPS, One Healer and a… A… Tealer? Hank?
Yesterday, my goal for the day was to get my little sham sham all the way to 40. Dual specc! Mail! Chain heal! Man, it seems like all the good stuff comes at 40. I was really excited, and was ready to start chain running instances to do the grind from 36 to 40 all in one day. I didn’t make my goal (*sniff*) but I did run across a PuG, the likes of which I had never run across before.
I que’d up, and puttered around doing minor chores while I waited for my group to form together. After my last experience with Razorfen Downs (lots of aimless wandering around and deaths until we found our way around), I was really hoping that I would get something other than that instance. And because Blizz likes to pick on the best of us, that’s what I got. But rather than go in all bummed and upset, I decided that I would be cheery. The sooner that this thing got done, the sooner I could go do a different instance. So I phase in and do my routine check for other shammies while getting my mana shield up and Earthliving on my weapon. I did a quick scan of party chat, searching for any greetings or special requests from the tank as to healing, when I saw that our tank had written:
hey rachael dps
that gorilla boi is tankin
And I got very confused. Was the tank puzzled as to my role in this party? I was clearly marked as a healer, so I didn’t know why he’d be asking me, of all people, to DPS. So I asked him what I meant, waiting for him to say “oh sorry youre the healer lol nvm”. Instead I get another demand that I DPS.
dps rach, dps.
My intentions of being cheery during this instance went out the window as fast as a 310% mount. Of all the things that bother me the most, this guy had done the two that just drive me nuts. He bossed me around, and messed up my name.
Okay, so that sounds awful and snobby, but this is stemmed from all the years that my real name has been mispronounced (it’s not very common, so I often get called by other names rather than my own because they sound similar), and all the times I’ve been called ‘Annie’ on Rith. There’s nothing wrong with the named Annie, but for some reason, it just didn’t sound right for a big scary warlock to be named Annie. An orphan played by Shirley Temple just wasn’t the image I was looking for. Obviously, people wouldn’t know to call her Rith until I told them, which was all fine, but it was the people that insisted on calling me Annie to spite me after I told them that I preferred Rith. In occasions like instances and grouping with other players, I find it rude and a little disrespectful to spell someone’s name wrong. I’m always very careful to get every character’s name correct, because it pleases me when people spell mine right. Maybe that’s just a weird quirk I have, though.
As for being bossed around, that’s from being told how to heal and what to do too many times before from tanks, just like this one was doing now. So I threw up my haughty Draenei nose and told him that I was sorry, but I wasn’t in the instance to DPS, I was in here to heal, so healing was what I would do. I got a brief silence (punctuated by “…”), before he continued.
rachael do you remember the friends episode where you really fucked up big time.
don’t go that again., (<—- intentional typo, I don’t edit out the ones that others do)
And I couldn’t help myself. I started laughing. This was completely ridiculous, and no matter how much I hate being bossed around and being told what to do, this guy absolutely cracked me up. I’ve never actually watched Friends before, so I have no clue who Rachel is, or what she she messed up so badly, but the fact that this guy was threatening me by comparing me to a TV show character, in the World of Warcraft, because I wanted to play what I was supposed to be doing, was just too much. I couldn’t stop giggling, to the point where my guild mate in vent with me just thought I was plain crazy (which may or may not be true). Still, I refused to DPS, but now it was less to be stubborn against him making me do what he said, but to piss off the little guy even more. My hopes for getting another TV show reference were dashed, but I still got a response.
LISTEN. everyone just kill the shit out of stuff ill heal you perfectly fine.
its our new strat
just pull a mass o mobs
Does anyone else see something wrong with that? Let me repeat. Our tank said:
everyone just kill the shit out of stuff ill heal you perfectly fine
He was assigned as our tank… What was he doing planning on healing the group? Since when have tanks been the people keeping the group alive while the DPS take all the damage? Snickering, I still refused.
A few minutes later, I got a whisper from our tank wannabe healer.
pls just spam lightning bolt on these guys it will make it go so much faster.
How many times do you have to pound someone in the head until they realize that you’re not going to DPS? I told him, again, that I wasn’t specc’d to DPS, and therefore was just going to stick with healing. Then I got cocky (never a good thing) and told him to learn to play with the system, and that since he got put in as a DPS, he had to DPS.
That was a really smooth move on my account, seeing as how he wasn’t actually que’d as a DPS, which he quickly informed me of.
Smart ass that I am, though, I saved myself by telling that was doing a very fine job as a tank, but I don’t think the sarcasm phased him any in his campaign to make me DPS. Next thing I see:
[I’m the tank] so i get fast queues see? but i can just heal everyone if everyone just rapes stuff and moves fast.
I chuckled. Are there really a lot of players that que as tank just to beat the wait lines, and then expect their group to pick up their slack? I could understand someone like a Warrior or a Death Knight doing it (understand, not agree with or appreciate, but understand). But healers get a pretty decent waiting time compared to DPS (decent yesterday being 15 minutes, but it’s better than 30). Ignoring his reasoning, I kept right on healing, but I also inspected his little dwarf body.
Sure enough, he was a Holy Paladin. And also, plain as day, he was wearing cloth caster BoA gear. Because Paladins really need spirit.
I can understand downgrading your armor because you can’t find any your level that has the stats you need on the armor proficiency you can use. I’ve done it countless times on Elianore, healing in cloth gear, because leather with healing stats isn’t always easy to come by. But this was BoA gear. The guy clearly had enough emblems to buy plenty of items. His shoulders were the caster cloth BoA, and he had the shammy healing chest, and a BoA mace too. So why didn’t the guy choose the right stats? At least he had one piece of the healing mail, which is recommended for Paladins leveling as Holy (I should know).
But we continue along, still cackling away in vent (if my poor guild mate didn’t think I was crazy before, she must have now). And after we down a boss, the healing tank told me that the entire instance would have been just like that boss fight, if I was “cool enuf”. Honestly, I hadn’t noticed anything different about the boss fight. We pulled, our hunter half tanked while the other two DPS tanked the other times, and our favorite Paladin and I healed. Nothing changed, we didn’t have some dramatic shift in DPS. The boss died, and the group lived. The end. So I ignored him. The guy was just generally a moron, and I was happy to laugh at his attempts to rile me up and finally make me DPS, and just make him even madder. It’s not like I was a jerk about it, at least, I tried not to be. But you’d be amazed by how much you can incense a person just by not responding (me, on the other hand, when people don’t respond to my tells, I start thinking “Oh, they must be mad at me, I hope they don’t hate me, I must have done something wrong. Oh, please don’t let them be mad at me, what if they don’t want to be friends anymore, *worry worry worry*”
Ping! My tells aren’t being answered by AFK anymore, and a quickly sent off message goes like this “Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? What can I do to make it better? Would you like me to leave you alone?”
The reply? “Dude, I was getting a Coke.”
Finally, later, I get another whisper, where he decided that he wanted to try and get me into a healing competition by asking me what my hardest hitting heal was. Point a) I don’t think heals are supposed to hit hard, if hit at all. That would defeat the purpose of it being a heal. Point b) Really? A healing competition? Another comment went ignored, but out of curiosity, I pulled up recount and checked out what my healing was like compared to his. Look, and behold.
In case you can’t read the recount text above:
1. Raechael 33504 (116.4, 52.2%)
2. (The Paladin) 18399 (46.1, 28.7%)
I felt pretty beast. I wasn’t even trying to heal as much as him, and after every time he told me to DPS, I wouldn’t even heal. Just sit there for a couple of mobs, let him heal by himself, before starting up again. Why not enjoy the ride?
Eventually, after we killed the Abomb boss (who I mistakenly called ‘Grobbulus’ last night while in vent with a certain WJRez, but all my mistakes around him are a different story… I believe his real name is Glutton? Help me out here…), and we were headed up the spiral to the final boss, they kicked my cute little shammy butt out of the group and instance.
And I still could not stop laughing.
After I was booted, I quickly scanned recount for the final stats.
1. Raechael 45335 (112.9, 50.7%)
2. Paladin 27930 (53.0, 31.2%)
And the best part?
1. Hunter 1133 (33.0%)
2. Warrior 801 (23.0%)
3. Warlock 571 (16.6%)
4. Paladin 527 (15.3%)
5. Me 401 (11.7%)
Yes, I managed to be top on the healing meter while bottom on the activity list.
Admittedly, I did a bunch of over healing, but it wasn’t like I was sitting there and healing everyone when they were at 100% health. More often than not, I’d start casting a heal to heal someone at 80%, and right before my heal went up, his heal would bring them up to 90%, and my heal would over heal. None the less, my beautiful heals got me kicked from a moron’s group, but what can I say. They gave me a great laugh, and a wonderful story to tell.
Though I would have liked to have been able to rub that healing meter in his face.